Dancing With Our Limitations

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I’m sitting down to write. Before I get through the first sentence my 4 year-old begins to cry. We settle the big worry. I begin again. My 7-year old sweetly knocks, she just needs a little help with her craft project. My husband seeing the door open has a quick question about my schedule for the coming week.  I patiently get out my calendar. One question leads to ten, and we figure out childcare for the coming week. The door closes. I take a deep breath. Where was I going with this post?  Oh yes, I set my finger to the keys, and begin to type away. Barely a paragraph has gone by when my 12 year-old saunters in announcing my allotted 45 minutes of “mom time” is up, and it’s now time for our promised baking project. Sound familiar anyone?  

But it doesn’t stop there. Any number of feelings follow in the wake of these interruptions. Frustration, resentment, even anger can result. A bit further down the line we might give up, give in, feel dejected or depressed, or a nagging sense of failure might arise.

Yes, we have the outer limitations of our circumstances, and they must be assessed and sorted out so we can hopefully get on with what our creative self is longing to accomplish. But, when negating feelings are at work as well, we have to also look at the limitations we impose upon our creative process. Our creative process is in part taking a look at what this process reveals about how we think abut ourselves on a deeper level.

How can all the interruptions and all the feelings be understood as part of the process?

There is this thing called ‘life’ that continues to get in the way of finishing a task, completing a ‘to do’ list, or accomplishing an intention.  These, so to speak, limitations both actual and perceived can be so daunting, that they make us want to give up and give in. We often let them take over.

We all have limits. We all have structures, frameworks, and timeframes informing how much we can get done and by when. They can discourage us permanently.

Limitations show up as time constraints, children, exhaustion, illness, a suffering marriage, a dying relative or friend, our finances, the weather, infidelity, house remodels and usually limitations sound like…I couldn’t “fit in the writing time” or “find the peace and quiet”.

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I have always had big desires. I have yearned for career success. Amongst all my limitations is an ever present deep wanting to fulfill my desires. However, I have to accept my limitations, which may in turn change my desire. And that, in itself I am realizing is not entirely a negative thing.

I do however, have to take a deep breath, gulp down a big lump in my throat, put my hand on my heart, and admit, that given my life’s innate limitations, I may not be able to achieve all my desires as I once may had theorized I could. I may not reach my once theorized version of perfection and success.

I may have to settle and allow rather then keep fighting and protesting.

This then becomes our dance doesn’t it? Our desires partner up with our limitations and they dance. It’s a choreography that lends itself to a life of grace filled with easeful transition and harmonious undertaking only when we allow the two to dance together. They work to shape the other, to mold and bend and twirl and spin our desires into shape based on imposed limitation. We stop resisting what we can’t do and we allow limitation to restructure our desire. And this my loves, this is the work of creating desire. This is success and this is self love.

Desires need form to help shape them into something tangible. Your limitations help to create this form. Yes, it’s a paradox: open to desire more while accepting your limits. Hold both, but remember this;

You are allowed to love something, produce something, be something, create something and it doesn’t have to be perfect.
Because, you didn’t have the time to “do it perfectly”, is perfectly good enough, just do it anyway.

I love you all!

Dance Well,

To learn more about Life Coaching click here.

~laurel

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