Maximizing Your Couple’s Therapy Experience
The idea of sharing your problems with a stranger can be pretty frightening, but I want you to know that you’re doing the right thing. By coming to meet with a professional, it means that you’re willing to give your relationship a chance. Keep in mind, though, that therapy only works if you do.
Here’s how to get the most out of couple’s therapy.
Having an open communication is one of the biggest problems couples face. They know they need to do it, but oftentimes, they don’t know how to do it.
Good communication requires both people to speak from their heart about their concerns and what really matters to them. Maybe there is some resentment or grudge you’ve never been able to openly express. This is a safe place to talk openly about your problems. Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there.
Have more goals for yourself than for your partner
If you want to fix your relationship, then you should start by looking at yourself. Ask yourself – How can I express what I feel more openly? How can I be less controlling? How can I become more patient or more assertive?
More often than not, couples do not succeed in therapy because they are focused on trying to fix their partner. You can’t change your partner. He/she can’t change you. Focus on changing yourself rather than your partner.
Over the years, I’ve heard a lot of people say that couple’s therapy doesn’t work and is a waste of time. The problem is that couples want immediate gratification. They would stop showing up after a couple of sessions, thinking that it will never work anyway and that their marriage is over.
Of course, working on your problems can be time-consuming. The higher your level of conflict, the longer it may take to get to a resolution. If you’ve been having problems for several years, there’s no way that we can resolve it within 3 45-minute sessions. Remember, marriage takes work and persistence pays off.