Are Relationship Issues Causing You To Feel Anxious, Helpless and Misunderstood?

  • LaurelVineyardIs tension and constant fighting with your partner tearing your relationship apart?
  • Are you a single person who repeatedly makes the same relationship mistakes?
  • Are you worried that you’ll never find a partner who will meet your needs and treat you with love and respect?
  • Are you desperate to have a healthy, fulfilling relationship, but fear that you’re destined to be alone or unhappy in love for the rest of your life?

Relationship conflict and confusion can leave you feeling powerless to achieve your life’s ambitions. As a child you might have always dreamt of cultivating a partnership epic enough for the history books, but became disappointed after discovering that reality is much harsher than fiction. Perhaps your current relationship is one among a series of disastrous partnerships. When you first met your partner you might have been overcome by intense feelings of attraction and love, but your partnership might have quickly degraded into arguing, fighting and bickering. Regardless of the differences you may have with your partner, you might still wake up each morning feeling hopeful. Before going to work, perhaps you send your partner warm, loving texts. However, you may often find that your texts go unanswered, causing you to become angry and resentful at your partner’s insensitivity. At this point, you may start to bombard your partner with messages, only to feel hurt, misunderstood and guilty afterward for acting “too needy.”

Even if you’re single, these experiences may seem all too familiar. As a single person you’ve likely experienced countless relationships, but have repeatedly run into the same roadblocks. Single or not, you may lie awake in bed at night wondering what you can do to make your relationships successful. Perhaps you desperately long for a partner who will make you feel prioritized and loved, but fear that you lack the tools to put yourself in control of your own destiny.

Many People Struggle In Their Relationships

If you find you’re constantly struggling in your relationships, the good news is you’re not alone. Many people experience conflict in their relationships as they inevitably discover that cultivating a healthy partnership is hard work.

Relationship health is often determined by attachment style. According to attachment theory, there are three kinds of attachment: anxious, avoidant and secure. These attachment styles often arise from childhood and are formed through relationship we had with our parents. If we have secure attachment, we tend to have healthier relationships as adults. If we are anxious, we may become panic-stricken when faced with an unavailable or unresponsive partner. Conversely, avoidant partners often push their loved ones away when confronted with too many of their needs. As you can imagine, a relationship that features both anxious and avoidant attachment lends itself to a high degree of conflict.

Relationship Coaching Can Help You Find Security – Regardless of Your Attachment Style

If you recognize yourself as avoidant or anxious, please don’t worry. It’s possible to build a healthy relationship, regardless of your attachment style. I have been providing relationship coaching to couples and singles for over 10 years and can tell you that even the most troubled individuals are capable of finding love. Indeed, relationship coaching can be very effective. However, its effectiveness is measured by your willingness to get real with yourself and earnestly look at the patterns playing out in your relationships.

As your relationship coach, I can help you identify and honor your needs, wants and desires so that you can begin to give yourself permission to pursue the partner who truly makes you happy. Together we’ll take a look at your past and present relationships, identify any negative patterns of behavior and set goals for making positive change. Armed with valuable information about yourself, you can begin to understand your attachment style and that of your past or present partner. You can decide if your current situation is one that increases or diminishes your overall wellbeing and take steps to get you to where you want to go.

During sessions, you can also develop concrete skills, tools and strategies for cultivating a healthy relationship. You’ll have the opportunity to practice non-aggressive communication so that you can start expressing yourself in ways that engender empathy and compassion rather than resulting in defensiveness from your partner. In addition, you’ll be exposed to techniques for better managing negative emotions like sadness, anger, fear and guilt and discover new, healthy ways for expressing yourself. As your therapist, I can also help you transform negative thinking and clear up any misconceptions or myths that are causing you conflict in your relationships. By practicing these skills and more, it’s possible to better cope with relationship-related anxiety, resolve repetitive arguments and become a better communicator and listener.

I offer an approach that is eclectic, creative and never by the book. I have been practicing relationship coaching for many years and understand the frustrations, disappointments and hardships of having a difficult relationship. In fact, I too have struggled with a partner who had an attachment style that was incongruent with my own. However, once I gave myself permission to honor my needs and accept my attachment style, I was able to build a new relationship in which I now feel incredibly secure, respected and loved. Although the road ahead may seem difficult at times, I can tell you from experience that things can and do get better.

Perhaps you’re ready to embark on relationship coaching, but have questions and concerns you’d like to explore first…

Relationship coaching takes too much time.

By failing to see a relationship coach now, you may actually end up squandering your life experience. Our time on earth is short and precious. You don’t want to waste your time staying miserable in your current situation. Coaching will ultimately be an investment in your wellbeing and can increase your chances of changing the status quo.

I’m worried about the stigma of seeing a relationship coach.

You can worry about the stigma of seeing a relationship coach and eventually have a failed relationship, or you can make the decision to partake in coaching and do what’s necessary for saving your relationship. Furthermore, sessions with me are strictly confidential.

I don’t need the help of a relationship coach. I can get through this on my own.

If you’re being torn apart by constant bickering with your partner, if you’re completely miserable or cry yourself to sleep each night fearing you’re going to be single for life, the strategies you’re currently using to resolve your relationship issues may not be working. By engaging in relationship coaching, you’ll learn new coping tools, conflict resolution strategies and communication skills in addition to the ones you already have.

Stop Wasting Time Being Unhappy

With the help and support of a relationship coach, it’s possible to gain new insights that can lead you toward greater satisfaction and fulfillment in your relationships. Please call me at (720) 224-3722. I’d be happy to schedule an appointment or answer questions you have. In the meantime, check out my blog where I discuss important issues regarding relationship health.

 

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